It is all about perspectives
Very often, something happens and we feel a particular emotion.
That emotion is triggered by change which is brought to us by that something that happened.
When talking about change, there is always “before” and “after”.
“Before” is our baseline if nothing had happened.
“After” is what things are now because that something did happen.
And of course, there is “how” we react to the change. The same change can trigger totally opposite reactions and emotions to different people.
Typically, to improve our emotional happiness, we are asked to examine our “how”, because that seems to be the only thing we can influence, while “Before” and “After” are facts. There is a book on this.
However, “Before” and “After” can also be “influenced”, because what they are is entirely in our perspectives.
In other words, it cannot be taken for granted that people will see “Before” and “After” as what they really are.
Hitler still commanded armies that did not exist to defend the red army at the door step of Berlin, up to his last moments.
As commoners, we probably make more mistakes in that regard.
So before we rush to change our “How”, do take a few moments to think over the “Before” and “After” to make sure that we see them as what they are.
“How” actually originates from our beliefs and mechanism how our brain works. If we force changes to our “How” based on wrong facts, we might cause damage to what we are as a person.
Just imagine someone who “really feels” happy upon something terrible. That is close to insanity.
And last but not least, it is ok to feel emotions, even the “bad” ones. Just be mindful when compelled to act by them.